{"id":2122,"date":"2009-07-17T14:34:03","date_gmt":"2009-07-17T14:34:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/drugprevent.org.uk\/ppp\/?p=2122"},"modified":"2016-09-22T21:22:46","modified_gmt":"2016-09-22T21:22:46","slug":"what-parents-can-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/drugprevent.org.uk\/ppp\/2009\/07\/what-parents-can-do\/","title":{"rendered":"What Parents Can Do"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Introduction<\/span><\/span><\/strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Recent surveys show that we are making progress in our national battle against some drugs.\u00a0 Casual use is declining, attitudes are changing, and we know more about what works to prevent drug use by our young people.\u00a0 As parents, we can build on that progress in our own families by having strong, loving relationships with our children, by teaching standards of right and wrong, by setting and enforcing rules for behavior, by knowing the facts about alcohol and other drugs, and by really listening to our children.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Teaching Values<\/span><\/span><\/strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Every family has expectations of behavior that are determined by principles and standards.\u00a0 These add up to \u201cvalues.\u201d\u00a0 Children who decide not to use alcohol or other drugs often make this decision because they have strong convictions against the use of these substances \u2013 convictions that are based on a value system.\u00a0 Social, family, and religious values give young people reasons to say no and help them stick to their decisions.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Here are some ways to help make your family\u2019s values clear:<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Communicate values openly.\u00a0 Talk about why values such as honesty, self-reliance, and responsibility are important, and how values help children make good decisions.\u00a0 Teach your child how each decision builds on previous decisions as one\u2019s character is formed, and how a good decision makes the next decision easier.\u00a0 Look for conflicts between your words and your actions.\u00a0 Remember that children are quick to sense when parents send signals by their actions that it\u2019s all right to duck unpleasant duties or to be dishonest.\u00a0 Telling your child to say that you are not at home because a phone call comes at an inconvenient time is, in effect, teaching your child that it is all right to be dishonest.<\/span><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Make sure that your child understands your family values.\u00a0 Parents assume, sometimes mistakenly, that children have \u201cabsorbed\u201d values even though they may be rarely or never discussed.\u00a0 You can test your child\u2019s understanding by discussing some common situations at the dinner table; for example, \u201cWhat would you do if a person ahead of you in line at the theater dropped a dollar bill?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Setting and Enforcing Rules Against the Use of Alcohol and Other Drugs<\/span><\/span><\/strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Parents are responsible for setting rules for children to follow.\u00a0 When it comes to alcohol and other drug use, strong rules need to be established to protect the well being of a child.\u00a0 Setting rules is only half the job, however; we must be prepared to enforce the penalties when the rules are broken.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Be specific.\u00a0 Explain the reasons for the rules.\u00a0 Tell your child what the rules are and what behavior is expected.\u00a0 Discuss the consequences of breaking the rules: what the punishment will be, how it will be carried out, how much time will be involved, and what the punishment is supposed to achieve.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Be consistent.\u00a0 Make it clear to your child that a no-alcohol\/no-drug use rule remains the same at all times \u2013 in your home, in a friend\u2019s home, anywhere the child is.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Be reasonable.\u00a0 Don\u2019t add new consequences that have not been discussed before the rule was broken.\u00a0 Avoid unrealistic threats such as, \u201cYour father will kill you when he gets home.\u201d\u00a0 Instead, react calmly and carry out the punishment that the child expects to receive for breaking the rule.<\/span><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Getting the Facts<\/span><\/span><\/strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>As a minimum, parents should:<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>know the different types of drugs and alcohol most commonly used and the dangers associated with each;<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>be able to identify paraphernalia associated with each drug;<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>be familiar with the street names of drugs;<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>know what drugs look like;<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>know the signs of alcohol and other drug use and be alert for changes in your child\u2019s behavior or appearance.<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>know how to get help promptly if you suspect your child may be using alcohol and other drugs.<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Parents who are clear about now wanting their children to use illicit drugs may find it harder to be tough about alcohol.\u00a0 After all, alcohol is legal for adults, many parents drink, and alcohol is a part of some religious observations.\u00a0 As a result, we may view alcohol as a less dangerous substance than other drugs.\u00a0 The facts say otherwise:<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Many teenagers have a drinking problem.<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Alcohol-related accidents are the leading cause of death among young people 15 to 24 years of age.<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Children and Alcohol<\/span><\/span><\/strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>About half of all youthful deaths in drowning, fires, suicide, and murder are alcohol-related.\u00a0 Young people who use alcohol at an early age are more likely to use alcohol heavily and to have alcohol-related problems; they are also more likely to abuse other drugs and to get into trouble with the law.\u00a0 Young people whose body weight is lower than adults reach a higher blood alcohol concentration level than adults and show greater effects for longer periods of time.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>We know that smokers are 10 times as likely as non-smokers to develop lung cancer and 3 times as likely to die at early ages from heart attack.\u00a0 In fact, in 1985, smoking was the leading cause of early death among adults.\u00a0 Nicotine, the active ingredient in tobacco, is as addictive as heroin, and fewer than 20 percent of smokers are able to quit the first time they try.\u00a0 Despite these facts, many children use these products.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Facts on Tobacco<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Young people who use cigarettes are also at great risk for all other drug use.<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Cigarettes contain more than 4,000 harmful substances, many of which cause cancer.<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Talking With and Listening to Your Child<\/span><\/span><\/strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Don\u2019t wait until you think your child has a problem.\u00a0 Many young people in treatment programs say that they had used alcohol and other drugs for at least two years before their parents knew about it.\u00a0 Begin early to talk about alcohol and other drugs, and keep the lines of communication open.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Don\u2019t be afraid to admit that you don\u2019t have all the answers.\u00a0 Let your child know that you are concerned, and that you can work together to find answers.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Be a good listener.\u00a0 Listen closely to what your child says.\u00a0 Don\u2019t allow anger at what you hear to end the discussion.\u00a0 If necessary, take a 5-minute break to calm down before continuing.\u00a0 Take note of what your child is Not saying, too.\u00a0 If the child does not tell you about problems, take the initiative and ask questions about what is going on at school or in other activities.\u00a0 Young people need to know that they can rely on their parents for accurate information about subjects that are important to them.\u00a0 If your child wants to discuss something at a time when you can\u2019t give it full attention, explain why you can\u2019t talk, set a time to talk later, and then carry through on it!<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Give lots of praise.\u00a0 Emphasize the things your youngster is doing right instead of always focusing on things that are wrong.\u00a0 When parents are quicker to praise than to criticize, children learn to feel good about themselves, and they develop the self-confidence to trust their own judgment.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Give clear messages.\u00a0 When talking about the use of alcohol and other drugs, be sure you give your child a clear no-use message, so that the child will know exactly what is expected.\u00a0 For example, \u201cIn our family we don\u2019t allow the use of illegal drugs, and children are not allowed to drink.\u201d<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Model good behavior.\u00a0 Children learn by example as well as teaching.\u00a0 Make sure that your own actions reflect the standards of honesty, integrity, and fair play that you expect of your child.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<strong><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Communication.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Effective communication between parents and children is not always easy to achieve.\u00a0 Children and adults have different communication styles and different ways of responding in a conversation.\u00a0 In addition, timing and atmosphere may determine how successful communication will be.\u00a0 Parents should make time to talk with their children in a quiet, unhurried manner.\u00a0 The following tips are designed to make communication more successful.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<strong><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Listening<\/span><\/span><\/strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Pay attention, Don\u2019t interrupt, Don\u2019t prepare what you will say while your child is speaking, Reserve judgement until your child has finished and has asked you for a response.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<strong><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Looking<\/span><\/span><\/strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Be aware of your child\u2019s facial expression and body language.\u00a0 Is your child nervous or uncomfortable &#8211; frowning, drumming fingers, tapping a foot, looking at the clock?\u00a0 Or does your child seem relaxed, smiling, looking you in the eyes?\u00a0 Reading these signs will help parents know how the child is feeling.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<strong><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Tips<\/span><\/span><\/strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span><strong>\u00a0<\/strong>During the conversation, acknowledge what your child is saying -move your body forward if you are sitting, touch a shoulder if you are walking, or nod your head and make eye contact.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<strong><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Responding<\/span><\/span><\/strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>\u201cI am very concerned about&#8230;\u201d or \u201cI understand that it is sometimes difficult&#8230;\u201d are better ways to respond to your child than beginning sentences with \u201cYou should,\u201d or \u201cIf I were you,\u201d or \u201cWhen I was your age we didn\u2019t&#8230;\u201d Speaking for oneself sounds thoughtful and is less likely to be considered a lecture or an automatic response.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>If your child tells you something you don\u2019t want to hear, don\u2019t ignore the statement.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Don\u2019t offer advice in response to every statement your child makes. It is better to listen carefully to what is being said and try to understand the real feelings behind the words.<\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>Make sure you understand what your child means. Repeat things to your child for confirmation.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<div><em><span style=\"font-family: Verdana;\"><span>(Source:Growing up drug-free; a Parents Guide to Prevention. US Dept Education. Published\u00a0 circa 1991)<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Introduction Recent surveys show that we are making progress in our national battle against some drugs.\u00a0 Casual use is declining, attitudes are changing, and we know more about what works to prevent drug use by our young people.\u00a0 As parents, we can build on that progress in our own families by having strong, loving relationships [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[46],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2122","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parents"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/drugprevent.org.uk\/ppp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2122","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/drugprevent.org.uk\/ppp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/drugprevent.org.uk\/ppp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/drugprevent.org.uk\/ppp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/drugprevent.org.uk\/ppp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2122"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/drugprevent.org.uk\/ppp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2122\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/drugprevent.org.uk\/ppp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2122"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/drugprevent.org.uk\/ppp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2122"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/drugprevent.org.uk\/ppp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2122"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}